![]() I find that it allows everyone (including myself) to calm down and figure out what happened. Six years later, I still use time-out to handle any instances of sibling fighting in my house. Even with these positive changes, I couldn’t help but experience a nagging feeling that I had somehow failed in my ability to be a gentle parent. After starting time-out, her aggressive behavior toward the baby also reduced to the point that it rarely happened and our relationship seemed to improve as the most stressful moments of my parenting became fewer and farther between. After this very brief separation (she was in a chair only a few feet away from me), I felt ready to handle my toddler and be the calm and patient parent that I wanted to be. I would calmly tell my toddler “You hit your brother so that’s time-out” and take the time to calm myself and the baby down. ![]() I needed a minute to calm down and tend to the baby before being able to handle the situation with my 2-year-old in a calm and effective way. Someone had just hurt my baby and it didn’t matter that it was my other baby who did it- I was angry. Although I knew that this reaction was entirely developmentally normal, these situations were still very upsetting for me as a parent. However, after having my second child, I often found myself in the very difficult situation of my 2-year-old being aggressive with her baby brother. Redirection and emotion coaching were effective for our family. Before having my second child, I felt no need to use time-out. However, as a parent, I was initially unsure about whether time-out would be right for our family. In my clinical work, I had seen firsthand that time-out could be a helpful tool for many families. One particularly controversial difference is that gentle parenting tends to oppose time-out- a practice that I had used frequently in my training as a psychologist since it is a part of nearly every research-backed parenting program. However, I was surprised to learn that some of the specifics of gentle parenting ran counter to my training as a psychologist. Like many parents, I wanted above all else, to raise kind and compassionate children and I hoped that the gentle parenting approach would help me to achieve that goal. Although my training as a psychologist and researcher did not focus on gentle parenting (since this approach as a whole has not yet been researched), I read books and blogs about gentle parenting and wholeheartedly endorsed the underlying concepts (being empathetic and responsive to our children’s needs and prioritizing the parent-child relationship). Listen to the newsletter by clicking the link below:Īs a new parent, the gentle parenting movement was very appealing to me.
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